Ebb and Flow

*Note: I originally wrote all of this out in a notebook, mostly for myself, unsure if I would post it or not. As I feel that handwritten notes carry a certain amount of character and emotional vulnerability that typed text cannot offer, I’ve attached them at the bottom of the page here. Feel free to have a look through if you want.*

Hey friends… it feels like it’s been ages since I posted here (I think a month or so?). I suppose that’s just the ebb and flow of life for you. I hope you’re all well! In a way, I’ve been busy living… and some days busy just existing. I’ve been struggling increasingly with new and troubling symptoms; symptoms which I had been trying to push away and deny for as long as possible. I had maintained some, admittedly naive, hope that I would be able to largely avoid the medical system for several years. Despite everything, my hope for a fully “normal” life, whatever that is, persists. The universe, however, has other plans, and that hope has currently been somewhat squashed.

All of this being said, I am so fortunate to have wonderful distractions from the pains of life surrounding me at every turn. I have a puppy who demands a fairly large portion of my attention, but gives me unconditional love and companionship in return. I have an incredibly supportive work environment, and a school program that I am fully interested and invested in. On my good days I have my rock climbing, and on all days I have my art; be it photography, or writing, or music.

Regardless of circumstance, there is always art. Even during the darkest periods of life, there is art to be sought out, to be experienced and to be created. It can be difficult to keep sight of this fact sometimes, however, from what I can tell, it rings true in perpetuity. I am blessed with the ability to create perfectly imperfect snapshots of my own beautifully messy human experiences. I am blessed with the ability to curate and share pieces of myself which will carry on touching lives for far longer and with far greater reach than my mortal self ever could. The most amazing part? As humans, we all carry this ability within us; it is only waiting to be accessed.

Through all of the pain that I have endured, and all of the pain that may be to come, there is always art. I only hope that I may continue to hold this truth at the forefront of my mind.

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