Catching up (ramble)

Hey friends, however many of you may read this, I feel like it’s been way too long since I last spoke to you. I find myself in an odd and slightly lost place right now, creatively speaking. I want to share my life and story here on my blog, but I don’t always feel that I speak eloquently enough to convey exactly what I want. No matter what I do, sometimes meaning just stays stuck in my head. I wonder if maybe I just haven’t quite found the medium through which I can fully express myself yet. On the other hand, I’m not sure that one such medium exists.

While I firmly believe in the power of words, I do not feel certain that they hold the full potential for expression that I’m looking for. I want to be capable of transporting others within my personal world as fully as possible; taking advantage of as many sensory experiences as possible. My life experiences are not one dimensional, so why should my personal reflections of them be? 

I fall more and more in love with photography and capturing life in what I believe to be it’s most pure form by the day. I love music equally and yet differently; for the ability to conjure emotion and memory without ever speaking a word or seeing a visual. When I stop to think about it, so much of my frustration comes down to simply wanting to capture and express humanity: pain, love, frustration, anger, and joy. I want to let the outside world into a piece of my personal bubble, yet I cannot seem to build a big enough doorway. Perhaps I just don’t have enough materials, or the right tools yet. All that I can do is keep searching and expanding my skill set, hoping for that magical combination to present itself.

That being said, I have begun to pursue some new avenues. I will be attending college part-time for digital music production in the new year, in order to learn to compose and produce my emotions and experiences sonically. I continue to add to my Instagram, and am considering moving this blog to a new site that will allow me to also host perhaps a print shop, links to musical pursuits, and whatever else my heart tells me to chase. It’s time to make myself a bit uncomfortable again, for nobody grows in comfort and stagnancy quickly grows tiresome. I really hope that all of this helps to push me forward on this journey, and brings me one step closer to constructing that wide open doorway. 

I hope you all are well ❤ 

Sabina

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