Lunchtime

I lie on the grass in the courtyard at work on my lunch break, it’s a sunny day but fall is beginning to creep in and touch the air. The light warms my skin, and the air gently brushes over, cooling it slightly. I close my eyes and hear the breeze rustling the leaves, a bee passing nearby. I could be on a camping trip, vacation, cottage; but the sound of distant traffic and the whir of my feeding pump beside ties me to my real situation. I inhale, exhale and touch the bracelet that reminds me to stay grounded and with my spirit, to stay connected with my breath. I will myself to absorb more of what the sun offers me, for the days are growing shorter and soon it’s gifts will be few and far between. Memories of the year prior are still fresh in my mind, and often distracting, but for these few minutes I am keenly aware of how present I am. I am proud of my ability to keep out whispers of my past, if even for a moment. As I begin to stir, brushing off the ants that have started to wander over my still body, I realize that for the first time in a long time, I’ve been feeling moments of true peace. I grab my notebook and try to capture the feeling in some lines on a page; who knows when it might come back.